Ok normally...

..."it's funny because it's true" is a shorthand way of dismissing things as neither funny nor true, but this really is funny because it's true. This guy knows his states. Plus it'll take less time to watch then it took for this page to load (I should fix that...)

Photoblag One

I'm not the only one who sees it, right? (taken way back at Christmas)

Apparently Wal★Mart has the same opinion of Guitar Hero 4 & 5 as I do. (Taken a few weeks ago)
I'm still not sure I drove my own car home. (Taken the day before the previous photo I think)

Hopefully the next one of these will be longer. I have something planned, so it'll either be awesome or the worst thing ever, according to the laws of the Internet.

Also while I probably don't have your attention, here's my twitter, which is just about to wrap up a truly anticlimactic month-long series. I'm very...proud is the wrong word. Relieved? Distracted? Waffles? I'm very waffles of my achievement

Let's Play Count the Clichés! (Again)

Bon Jovi, "It's My Life"

This ain't a song [1] for the brokenhearted
No silent prayer for the faith departed [doesn't really count, but I hate when songs cheat at grammar like this. Unless you're Shakespeare, it always sounds forced]
And I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd [2, plus a third just for "face in the crowd", and a warning for "I ain't gonna be"]
You're gonna hear my voice [4] when I shout it out loud [5]

It's my life [6]
It's now or never [7]
I ain't gonna live forever [8, plus another warning for rhyming "never" with "forever"]
I just wanna live [9] while I'm alive [warning #3]
(It's my life) [10*]

My heart is like [11] an open highway
Like Frankie said, "I did it my way" [12**]
I just wanna live [9b] while I'm alive [warning 3.5]
'Cause it's my life [10c]

This is for the ones who [13, or possibly 1d] stood their ground [14]
For Tommy and Gina who never backed down [15; 4th warning for putting these two right next to each other]
Tomorrow's getting harder, [15, though I'm pretty sure it's "tomorrow's getting hotter," which is about equally bad] make no mistake
Luck ain't even lucky, gotta make your own breaks

[repeat chorus]

You better [16] stand tall [17]
When they're calling you out [18]
Don't bend, don't break [19--when was the last time you heard "bend" without "break"]
Baby [20-- the imperative "Baby"], don't back down [15d]

[repeat chorus twice]

Total Score: 20 distinct clichés, plus 4 repeats (or possibly 19/5), adding up to two less than our last entrant. However that song had 23 qualifying lines, while this one has 21 (or 19 if you omit the two repeats in the chorus). Add in the 4½ warnings, and the final score on the Clichometer is a near-perfect 95|114|135.

This is actually lower than I expected; most likely I was overestimating it because of the all-cliché chorus, which just feels like you're being assaulted with them. And note that many of the non-cliché lines (especially the second and the first half of the last), don't actually make sense (how can a song be a "silent prayer"?); for that matter, the first two lines are complete filler, state what kind o song this is not, but having no real relation to what the song is. Other special notice goes to use of "ain't" and "gonna" as cheats to skip syllables, and, conversely, "just," "like," and "when" as filler words. Note the fact that nearly every line is (part of) a complete sentence, and that the chorus is twice as long as the verses, both tropes endemic to pop and pop-adjacent styles (i.e. pop-rock, pop-country), which tend to lead to lyric that are stilted and repetitive, respectively.

That took longer than I expected. I;m really out of practice with this actual writing stuff.

*The cliché in question is reusing the first line of the chorus as the last line of the chorus.
**I'm letting "I did it my way" off, but glib quotes of older songs, literature, and poems are one of the worst of all the clichés. Bon Jovi does this on a lot, the worst of which is this. For your own sake, don't click on that link

[untitled]

There are 30 more of these.

Somehow transitioned from too any links to videos to too much gigantic video games art.

Whatever.

Free game

Just click it and see for yourself, it takes like 30 seconds.

http://probablyinteractive.com/url-hunter

Drawing is cool I wish I could draw,

I find this series fascinating (there are like 4 or 5). I like people that talk fast; I fell like they're not wasting my time. Also there are cool pictures and oh yeah it makes a supposedly difficult concept accessible and interesting.



Also I couldn't figure out how to fit it into the main body of the post but I really wanted to use the word "mathematic" somewhere around here.

Other features every DVR should have*: A "second airing" option in addition to "First Run" and "Repeats," for shows that air multiple times a night (i.e. every cable show). So I can record South Park one of the 400 times a week it airs without interfering with something else or recording a million reruns.

*In a previous post, I mentioned an "undo" button or recycle bin for when you accidentally delete episodes (which every single person with a DVR has done at least once), a feature that I estimated would take about ten minutes to develop and implement.

My continued attempts to crash your browser...

Here's something that's not a song.

I watched this on DVD (remember those?) earlier this week and it somehow became one of the best movies I have ever seen. It seems like it should be the most pretentious thing ever and yet you can't look away from the screen. Give it a shot, and if you get bored try skipping to the second half, which somehow makes the real world look more fantastical than any CGI (especially, it out-TRONs TRON. TRON is a verb, right?).