Just Linking to Stuff Mega-Post

I been sitting on some of this for a while, forgot/neglected to post for whatever reason:

Someone had too much fun making this:

Proof that New Zealand is kind of awesome:

Ze importance of context:

SPECIAL MARIO SUBSECTION

It's easy to forget how much a badass Mario is. Don't:

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

And this

SUBSECTION OVER...FOR NOW

I don't know, this is just funny:

This is like a parody of Batman Begins-style reboots, and then you realize that it's an actual fucking movie:


Turn your speakers down:


IPAD SUBSECTION
Some of these are worthless but the good ones make it worth clicking.

Also here's the reason I didn't get an iPad. Remember when Apple was the cool company with all the new ideas?
SUBSECTION COMPLETE

VIDEO GAME-RELATED ART SUBSECTION
Pokemon as sumi-e prints

Games covers as books covers. Again, a lot are worthless, but the good ones are better than the actual box art (which raises some interesting questions).

Maybe not art but I found it cool anyway. Title is accurate.
SUBSECTION TERMINATED.

Can't remember if this is good or not, video isn't working:

Sonar from Renaud Hallée on Vimeo.

Finally, the most insightful image I've ever seen.

...Except I'm guessing everyone looks at it and thinks they're the one guy. Which is stupid cause it's obviously me. I didn't even buy a iPad.

(Title for Indexing Purposes Only...Or Is It?)

"Fencing Wire":

Soundtracking Your Life, Part Seven: (words will be here. check back later)

I refuse to say the SotWW word or I'll curse myself. Let's just say I'm making up for lost time.

UPDATED 4/22: I've been trying to learn more about scoring and composition*, mainly because I'm a dork but also to help me with this project. One of the things that intrigued me was the idea of underscoring, where you have music in the background, but it's not super important to the tone or whatever of things. Basically background noise. The other thing that I keep coming back to is trying to find new and interesting sounds (considering I've previously used a piece of paper, TWO trashcans, and various toys as instruments, you have only yoursleve to blame if this surprises you).

So it was inevitable that these two ideas might intersect (read this sentence again if you didn't catch that). I was sort of just tapping on a guitar and liked the sound (again, an idea with some precedent), and decided to record it so I wouldn't forget it. I knew going in that the sound quality would be kind of crappy but figured the idea was interesting enough to post anyway. By the way, if you've ever wondered the difference between what makes the cut for release and what doesn't, "interesting" is probably the criterion I is using more than anything else, including "good."

An additional note on Sountracking Your Life: there probably won't be much more StYL, at least in the near-term. It's not because the project is over so much as I want spend more time on each song than SotW gives me.

I have another song I want to do for the blog just because I want to write about it (it has a strange concept that I feel might need an explanation), but even though it's sort of partly written I haven't started recording yet. It might get posted tommorow, it might get posted next year, I don't really know yet.

In the long-term I want to rework and most of the songs you've already heard, and start recording new ones. When I'm all finished I'm hoping for something like 15 or 16 full-length songs, and then a smaller number of short pieces like this or "X's Theme." And you'll be able to download it and take it with you, which was kind of the point anyway. I'll probably release the blog versions of these songs as "demos" or something (I'm thinking of signing up for a site that'll help me do all this).

*Bear McCreary, who did the score for Battlestar Galactica and a bunch of other TV shows, has a pretty informative blag on the subject.

DOWNLOADABLE VERSION:
[This song can only be downloaded by downloading the full album. To see the page for this track, go here.]
Rerelease Notes: As with "Rose," I mixed a new version, but ended up reverting to the old one because songs always sound worse when published then when played in GarageBand.

OK, this is getting out of hand.

My Name is Earl, "Earl and Joy's Anniversary":
"Of all your wives, I think Joy was my favorite"-Randy

Watched it on the internet and found out it has a theme song. The first time I tried to watch it, I got halfway through and my internet crashed. The second time I tried to watch it, my internet crashed again. The third time was on a different computer three days later. It was maybe worth the effort, but only if you're as obsessive/bored as me.

"Earl and Joy's Anniversary" has really only one notable characteristic: its ending, in which Earl realizes he really did care for Joy, something which nobody was really wondering. I kind of just assumed he did. If he had realized he didn't*, or maybe if there had been some raging debate about it, than yeah, I can see why they did this one. As it stands, meh. Just OK.

*Which would be kind of ballsy, you have to admit.

Robot Chicken, "Star Wars Episode II":
"I can't hold your hand anymore, Vader. A hand I gave you, by the way"-Emperor Palpatine

I have to confess something: I haven't seen the Star Wars movies in a long time. Like over ten years. And I wasn't very old then. So most of my memory of them is kind of fuzzy, and a lot of it's based on secondary sources (though I imagine a lot of people who've never seen the movies at least know the gist).

Now that that's out of the way, the TV show. You should probably know, it's not all that much like the first one. That one was your standard collection of Robot Chicken sketches, just with Star Wars-y themes and some bigger name guest stars. This one tries something different: an actual story. There are still the occasional breaks for Jar-Jar Binks Geico commercials (sadly, I was old enough to remember that cat turd, though not old enough to have realized how bad it was), but the majority of the halfhour (we need a shorter word for that) is taken up by a straight-up retelling of Empire Strikes Back (with some Return of the Jedi thrown in at the end). Overall it works, and does its thing better than when Family Guy tried it. Probably helps that it's not an hour long, and didn't feel the need to shoehorn in the entire movie.

The real reason to watch this, besides Seth McFarlane as Emperor Crazyface (his family changed it at Ellis Island), is the animation. I guess I shouldn't be that impressed-- after all, quite a bit of the original films was made using stop motion-- but they really pulled out all the stops here. (Full disclosure: I'm kind of animation geek in general; the kind of person who noticed they kept switching between widescreen and fullscreen depending on if the sketch was part of the main story or not).

Chuck, "Chuck Versus the Fat Lady":
[sings high pitched note]-John Casey

Wow! I just found out what Chekhov's Gun means, and then Chuck gives us a perfect example with the video game doodad. OK, maybe "Wow!" is a little strong. At least it's not "Woo!" (that'd be "foreshadowing"— or is it? (and that'd be "misdirection")). I'm tempted to hold off on this three-parter-doodad until next week (as I've done before). And you know what they say about temptations: give in to all of them as soon and as often as possible.

Heroes, "It's Coming":
"Please...kill me."-Multiple characters
We did it! Heroes, as I predicted, finally crossed the watchability threshold. Maybe "good" is too strong a word, but this one was definitely worth sitting through. Characters do smart things! There are actual good guys and bad guys! Why wasn't this episode two or three?

How I Met Your Mother, "Woooo":
"All you would hear would be silence. And 'Brown-Eyed Girl.'"-Barney
Lots of "the Gang being the Gang" stuff, though that was kind of the point. There was the Dr. Suess business, and the Conference Call... actually, that was pretty much it. Still one of my favoriter ones from this year, from the Godzilla Building to Barney ear condition keeping him from riding the tricycle. Absolutely zero forward motion, and that's not a bad thing.

PS: W...wait for it...

Friday Night Lights,"Keeping Up Appearances":
"I know a girl who...thinks of ghosts"-The Flaming Lips
I forgot what this one was about. It's been a long week. I need to not wait so long to post.
I remember liking it, a lot. Maybe I'll re-review it on the reair.

The Big Bang Theory, "The Lizard-Spock Expansion":
"Paper disproves Spock"- The Tall Nerd
"I'm a physicist, so you know, I though about stuff...I wrote some of it down."-The Nerd with Glasses
OK, so I finally tried this show. And you know what? It was OK. Not a must-see by any means, but I might catch it again. I like the idea of a show about scientists, but I was worried about the execution, and to some degree, I'm not sure they can pull it off every time as well as they did here. Still, this was good enough that I can't believe it's from the creator of the Worst Show on Television.

House, "Emancipation":
"I have Huntington's"-Taub
That's how I figured they would do it: she just tosses her name off at random, doesn't make a big deal out of it (either that, or we'd never learn it). Oh, and there was other stuff, too, but most of it was just standard PoWness to lull us into false sense of complacency, until they (literally) drew their big guns the next week.

Moral Orel, "Nesting":
"You're the mayor"-Orel
Oh, only one more. What will we do? I was kind of surprised by this one, because it shows that some of the characters actually might have a happy ending. We'll see tonight, when I watch the finale, and then write a real post about it.

OK, I wrote that last Friday. It's Monday now, over a week later, and I just yesterday figured out that the finale isn't airing until the 18th. Until then, then.

Pushing Daisies, "Oh Oh Oh... It's Magic":
"The killer knows how to make a sandwich!"-Olive
"Now where'd I put that rat's ass I could give?"-Emerson
So it goes. In case you didn't hear, this show that you weren't watching just got de facto cancellated. And of course, it happens after the show did one of its best episodes, of course. "Magic" did some high-level metaphoring, mysterying, and characterering, and I, for one, loved it. If the show did all episodes like this, instead of last week's just-okay effort, it...probably still would have been canceled. Still, excellent TV, effectively utilizating the various elements that make the show work.

South Park, "The Ungroundable":
"You got pwned, Bebe, you Jap bitch"-Cartman
"Oh my Gosh, are we in trouble?"-Head Vampire kid, per se
Two weeks in a row, we get South Park satirizing a sanitized, lame, ridiculous trend that affects the stupidest of our children. This one works mainly because it was Butters-- at this point, Stan and Kyle are too smart to fall for this crap.

It was clear that for all they mocked the Goth Kids in their first appearance, the SPGs (my coined-too-late abbreviation of "South Park Guys") were on their side. Let that sink in. Apparently this tomato-sparkle-vampire crap* is even worse than a bunch of "faggy goth kids".

Other things I liked: "Burn Down Hot Topic" and the other faux-Goth (Fauxth?) songs; Vamp-Butters looking like a circa-2001 pop-punker (another lame co-option of something originally scary and dangerous); everything with Butters' parents; the tall Goth kid (do they have names?) flipping everyone off at the end; all the vampire hair (at least they're colorful)

*PS: if it doesn't drink blood, it's not a vampire. If we could call whatever we want whatever we want, than bats would be birds, stars would be planets, and blogs would be worth reading.

Life, "Badge Bunnies":
"No, this is a kidnapping"-The Bad Guy
How 'bout that ending, huh? Things aren't looking so good for ol' Charlie, are they?
This was probably the best since the prison experiment one, because the case tied really well into the characters, without feeling forced (as is often the case on these kinds of shows). As is my usual policy on two-parters, I'll say more later.

My Name is Earl, "Nature's Game Show":
"People often ascribe heightened meaning to random acts of physics" [or something like that]-Multiple Characters
I get that there's a difference between clever writing and good writing, but damn, this one was clever. How each piece of the puzzle meant something different to everyone, how it all fit together at the end without fitting too neatly. But what struck me from my Buffy rewind (the one-episode one, not the whole season), is that on that show, this would have been the first episode (or the second), and set up where everyone would be going for the rest of the year. This episode will probably be forgotten by the next one.

The Office, "Frame Toby":
"Let's pretend we're talking while the cops are here."-Creed
If you go on the internet, you can (legally and for free) find the "Producer's Cut" version of this episode. And by that, I mean just click on this. It's a big improvement to an already-good episode that fills in a few plot holes as well as just being funnier (the Pam story has a resolution, for instance).

This one wasn't great great--nothing really happened-- but I suppose we needed to take a breather at some point, so I forgive it.

30 Rock, "Gavin Volure":
"Toronto's just like New York, but without all the stuff."-Gavin Volure
"Stop patriciding me!"-Tracy
Oh Steve Martin, you so crazy. You guest star on 30 Rock, and you is bring the funny. Who would have think your storylines would have intersect with Japanese sex doll.? Who would have think.?

Fringe, "The Equation":
"Not now! I'm sciencing!"-Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth
OMG they killed Guest Star! With the blinky dinky and the hypnotyzing and the glaven! I'm not even sure I actually watched this episode, but it was better than most of them have been.
"A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift of All":
"I'm so high, you're hallucinating"-Wizzle Nizzle
...oooooooooooooooo! (Aren't you glad you waited?) Finally, a semi-ironic variety show/ musical extravaganza. As I predicted, a shark ate the Jonas Brothers (they will not be missed), Steven made out with a bear, and John Legend couldn't act.

Most of the songs were actually better than your standard X-mas fair (fare?), maybe because they were co-written by this guy (not Drew Carey, they guy who wrote the song). And as I somewhat suspected, they ended with something almost-serious:

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

A Colbert Christmas: Colbert/Costello Duet

Colbert at Christmas
Colbert Christmas DVD

Green Screen
Bill O'Reilly Interview

OK, that's a good place to split this in half. Hang on...

Liveblogging Rock Band 2: The Legend of Curly's Gold

And we're back! Did you miss me? We should be back on schedule now. For shizzle.

12:06 PM, Sunday: OK, so I was one of those people who bought Rock Band 2 (a game that's been out for over a month) in its Special Edition um, edition, at midnight last night. I'm the first person in town to get me one (there was someone ahead of me, but I checked out first. Arbitrary distinctions FTW!).

I can't think of any reviews that capture the experience of playing a game, and Rock Band has lots of load screens, and we're starved for content, and I didn't want to wait till I was done to review it, so I was all "hey I'ma do a liveblog." My inner monologue speaks in hilariously dated Ebonics.

First things first: the equipment. Well, the box. It's packaged way better than the Queen Mary-sized (the boat, not the bar) box the first came in-- everything's in one big box instead of three, and you need to cut maybe four pieces of tape, not a [metaphor for large amount of tape].

The microphone is almost identical to RB1's. It's not wireless, though I think the cord is longer. There's still no buttons. It still says "Rock Band" on it in that weird-asst font. The doodad near the base is smaller, but I can't even remember what that's called. I haven't used it yet, so it may or may not work better than the original.

The guitar is pretty much the same as Plasticaster V1, except where the cord was, is the button to wirelessly connect (note: press this button immediately when loading. I pressed the XBox Guide Button for 20 minutes before I got this and the drums connected). I haven't used this one either, but just holding it and pushing the buttons feels a little better than the old one.

I have used the drums, for about two hours (I was up till 3:45). They're way better. They're easier to use: I was getting high four-star ratings on some songs that weren't harder than those I got threestars in 1 (tell me you understood that. I'm trying to say I did better with these than the old ones). I didn't wear out on longer songs (which is why I never got past "Green Grass and Endless Guitar Solo" on medium). They're quieter, too, as I didn't wake up anyone else playing at 3:00.

I played maybe six songs, but I spent a lot of time in the (awesome) drum trainer mode. There's not much to it, but it has a Zen-like purity that reminds me of Tetris, with all these red and yellow blocks falling towards you.

One more thing, since I've spent half an hour writing and zero seconds playing today: does anyone know how I import my guy from Rock Band Numero One-o? He had a cool hat and more money than my current guy.

12:37: Wikipedia says importing is a no-no. (Sighs deeply). I guess this no guy will have to do.

12:43: Apparently, the disc is unreadable, despite looking better than literally every disc I've ever Netflix'd.

Fender Warmups (Guitar, expert): "Float On" is surprisingly tricky (far from hard, though). Something about the chords. "Today" is one of the few songs I can almost play on a real guitar. It's an early standout of the (two) songs I've played so far, and pretty fun for such an easy song (though I still think they should have went with "Bullet With Butterfly Wings". I haven't heard of "New Kid in School" before, and it's not love at first listen, but it's a good selection on guitar, mixing chord-bashing and fast single-note runs. It's easy with a challenging solo, which gives you something to replay it for. Plus, the shaved-head, shirtless lead singer of my band with a girl's voice? Never gets old.
I four-starred two of these songs, which rarely happens on expert. Am I getting better or is the game getting easier?

Bass Apprentice (Bass, Expert): Die-hard readers know how much better bass is than guitar. Let's put that to the test. "Round and Round" isn't the worst hair-metal song ever, but it's still a hair metal song. Plus, it's one of those songs where you play the green note 8 times, then the red note 8 time, then the yellow, ad nauseam. "Hungry Like the Wolf" isn't really any less cheesy than "Round and Round," but it's the fun kind of cheese, and you play more than one note. "Pump it Up" and "We Got the Beat" are actually fun in a non-cheesy way, though a lot harder than the first two.
Why was this set all 80's pop-rock? Only God knows.

Lunch Break

2:07 PM: And we're back! Um, again.

Make a Setlist: "E-Pro" and "Drain You" (Vocals, Hard): It's not exactly hard to sing like Beck, but then "E-Pro" throws in the na-na-na... chorus, which I have to mess up my throat to do right. I've heard that "Drain You" was Kurt Cobain's favorite Nirvana song, and I can see why. Gameplaywise, it's way easier than "In Bloom" was in the last game. I could barely finish "In Bloom" on Hard (and can't on Expert), but I got five stars on "Drain You." It might be a bit too easy, actually. I typed some of this post during the solo (without pausing), and came back in too late, but still, 5 stars.
Hey, does "Vox" rhyme with "Ox" or "Oaks"?

Boston, Wicked Awesome Local Setlist (Vocals, Hard): Norman Greenbaum is from Boston? Anyway, first song, "Spirit in the Sky," is something of a 70's rock cliche (pretend the accent mark is there), but it's a nice, mellow, easy-to-sing song, and there's nothing wrong with that, especially this early in the game. Plus, lots of tambourine. I could have swore Dinosaur Jr. wasn't Bostonese, either. I suspect most people have never heard "Feel the Pain" (I hadn't) before playing it, which makes it harder than it actually is (especially for singers). Plus it's a great song. "Where'd You Go?" is the first song I've failed so far. Second time through, I sang "ah-ah" to the pitch and got four stars. Not a good sign.

Battle of the Vans (Vocals, Hard): I hate "Nine In the Afternoon." I hate its pretentious lyrics. I hate its winking, plasticky fakeness. I hate those claps at the end. I hate it on a train. I hate it on a plane. I hate that I knew the words before playing it in the game. I hate that it's a big hit and "Fell the Pain" is an obscurity. I hate that it somehow takes itsself too seriously and not seriously enough. Compare it to "Eye of the Tiger." Even Survivor doesn't take the song seriously; remember that coffee commercial? Both songs are moderately hard, gameplaywise, though "Eye of the Tiger" is just above my range giving me a sore throat. Plus I feel the need to shout when singing it. Also, the new mic is really sensitive. I kid you not, it's picking up the sound of my typing. You migt have already guessed that I like "Today." It's one of those songs where the verse or chorus are completely different, and it takes you through a lot of different styles (whispery falsetto in the early verses, loud choruses, long sustained notes nearer the end).

On to New York! E-Pro again. Weirdly, I fail this time. How come my band is different every show?

"Hello There" by Cheap Trick (Vocals, Hard): The annoying song that plays when you start up the game. It's surprisingly fun to shout your way through, and mercifully short, so it's not all bad.

3:34: [Switches to Drums] [There were noise complaints]

Nine in the Afternoon (Drums, Medium): Nothing special to report. Almost got 5 stars.

Make-a-Setlist: "I Was Wrong" and "So What'cha Want" (Drums, Hard): Warning! "So What'Cha Want' is the same beat through the whole song. Lame. "I Was Wrong" is all right, though kind of easy.

Simple Mystery Setlist (New York, Ramp Arts; Drums, Medium): "Pretend We're Dead" is strange. It's one of few songs to use a drum riff, and it's the first Big Rock Ending I've had so far. Not sure if I like it. "That's What You Get" isn't as bad as, say, "Nine in the Afternoon" but its still lame. It's not, as it claims to be, "power pop". It's just pop. "One Step Closer" is equally stupid, but I'm going easy on it since I got five stars. It reminds me of "Fat Lip" way, way back in the first Guitar Hero, another dumb song that was a lot of fun to play. Plus, another gender-reversed singer.

NYC-- I Heart Local Artists (Drums, Medium):
"So What'Cha Want" again. Makes sense. On Medium, it lacks the offbeat bass drum that made it such a pain on Hard. Otherwise, they're identical.
"PDA" is one of the songs I played yesterday, and (surprise!) it's exactly the same as then: a little too easy. I could have gone to the bathroom and come back ducring the drum-free part (ont that that's a bad thing). Also I thought Interpol was (were? are? be?) British. Guess not.
"One Way or Another" would have been a good choice to include whether it was fun to play or not. It's one of the few songs alternative, pop, and classic rock fans can all agree on (sorry, metalheads). And it has a female singer. It acttually is fun to play, but on Medium it was too easy to hear the notes I wasn't playing (i.e. the ones you only play on Hard and Expert).
"Psycho Killer"? Oh, I wish I'd done singing instead. I jest: this is a good one to just bash through, without thinking too much (like a real drummer!). Said bashing resulted in my first dropped (thrown, really) drumstick.

Montrealward Ho!

Simple Mystery Setlist (Drums, Medium): I have nothing new to say about "Hungry Like the Wolf," only that I think it's going to be stuck in my head all week, and I suspect I'm not the only one. "Man in the Box," or as I like to call it, everyone's third-favorite Alice In Chains song, sounds... different? It's the vocals. It's a master, but maybe it's remixed? Maybe because I always sing over it, I don't know.

Rebel Girl by Bikini Kill (Drums, Hard): Failed

Rebel Girl by Bikini Kill (Drums, Medium): That's more like it. On Medium, this is like the easiest song ever. Nothing else to say have I.

Cool for Cats by Squeeze (Drums, Medium): A drum solo! All my prayers have been answered!

Bus or Bust Competition (Drums, Medium): "Drain You"! I played it last night, and both times it was fun and challenging without being difficult. "Hello There" remains just short enough to not be annoying. We'll see if it stays that way on the hundredth playthrough.

Crap. "Living on a Prayer" made it into this game. At least on drums I don't have to play that stupid guitar "riff' (it's not music, it's a special effect! It's like the Michael Bay of guitar riffs) or sing the awkward, clich(e with accent)-riddled lyrics.

I won a bus!

Montreal-- Canada's Local Artists, Eh? (Drums, Medium): Don't let me down, Canada.
"American Woman". Ah, yes, I remember that old Lenny Kravitz classic. We used to listen-- what's this now? The Guess Who? Where the [expletive] is Winnipeg? Whatever.
I knew it would be Alanis. What else is there in Canada? And they needed to include a few songs people have heard of. Despite my rock snobbery, "You Oughta Know" is actually a pretty good song, in hindsight, and whatever underpaid session drummer recorded it gave me something good to play along to.
I called Rush, too. Love them or hate them, Rush is kind of the perfect band for this game, and "The Trees" is Rush at their best: silly but meaningful lyrics, other qualities, and a drum solo! Wooooooo! Drum Solo!

"We Got the Beat" (Drums, Hard): Failed. Never accept the film student challenge, readers.

"Lump", by PotUSA (that's an acronym, folks; Drums, Hard): Failed

"Lump" (Drums, Easy): I hit Easy on accident, trying to hit Medium. Not surprisingly, Easy is easy-- I got 5 stars without trying.

"Give It Away" (Drums, Medium): This isn't really a "drum" song, and it's still totes funs (as the kids say). Except I felt weird playing it with my shirt on.

Sweaty's BBQ Mystery Setlist (Drums, Medium): "The Middle" (the one by Jimmy Eat World-- I think there's a lot of songs with that name) is too hard. I only got four stars! "Pinball Wizard," on the other hand, must be too easy, because I finished the whole thing. Double standards are fun!

Go Your Own Way (Drums, Medium): Paramor, or however you guys mispell your name? This is Power Pop. Not whatever it is you people do.

Dinner Break

Make A Setlist: "De-Luxe" and "Shooting Star" (Drums, Medium): Not much to say about "De-Luxe." I think it's the first 6/8 time song in the game, but I might be full of crap. I'm grateful for the fadeout ending, so I could type and play at the same time.
With "Shooting Star," we get the obligatory song about rock stardom. It's the third Big Rock Ending, after "Pretend We're Dead" and "The Trees", so far (does that number seem low to you guys?). It's also way too long, at more than 6 minutes--I almost missed King of the Hill.

It's 7:40 PM, and I'm done playing and equally done blogging.

Promised mega post! It's finally done, people! Can you believe it!

(this is the ever-lengthening, thrice-delayed mega-long post. And no, it's not worth it.)

My TV haikus
Of every show I watched
( fall season only).

Beware it, my friends:
Start reading, you may not stop
Talking in haiku.

With that considered
Know what I don't count-- three things:
Reruns, News, Fragments

True Blood: "Strange Love" (Aired 9-7)

Forgot I'd watched this.
Had HBO for two days.
Don't really miss it.



P.S.: I've put them
Chronologically (ish)
Is that okay, y'all?

Fringe: "Pilot" (9-9)

I liked-- loved-- the cow.
But the show? I'm not so sure.

Nowhere near Lost yet

SNL: "Michael Phelps/ Lil Wayne" (9-13)

Phelps is no Manning
Athlete hosts: always risky
Who cares, Tina Fey!

Fringe: "The Same Old Story" (9-16)

Fringe: X-Files ripoff,
Buffy and Angel ripoff,
Or more Twilight Zone?

House: "Dying Changes Everything"(9-16)

House versus Wilson,
Medicine-y things happened
The patient lived (?)

It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia: "Mac and Dennis: Manhunters" and "The Gang Solves the Gas Crisis" (Both aired 9-18)

Both of these titles
Are seventeen syllables
Perfect haiku length

Actual review:
First funny; Second more so.
"Wild card, bitches!" (jumps)

SNL: "James Franco/ Kings of Leon" (9-20)

(Yawns) Forgetable.
(Yawns) Nothing to blog about.
(Yawns) Watch Freaks and Geeks.

Chuck: "Chuck Versus the First Date"(Debuted on Internet 9-22, First TV airing 9-29)

Nerd spy dude uses
Call of Duty to save world.
Hey, it could happen!

Life: "Find Your Happy Place" (Debuted on Internet 9-22, First TV airing 9-29)

Cop goes to prison,
Is released, rejoins the force.
This week's case: boxes.

How I Met Your Mother: "Do I Know You" (9-22)

The last good sitcom
Hits the ground walking. Oh well.
We'll see how it goes.

Heroes: "The Second Coming", "The Butterfly Effect"(Both aired 9-22)

This show must be bad
If this is considered good.
The song is better.

At this point I watch
More for the coming train wreck
Than the storylines.

Fringe: "The Ghost Network"(9-23)

Boring, boring, bor-
ing, boring, forgetable.
Better than last week.

It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia: "America's Next Top Paddy's Billboard Model Contest" (9-25)

Weaker than last week
But still pretty danged funny
No good quotes though

and "Mac's Banging the Waitress" (Also aired 9-25)

Recalls Season 2's
"Mac Bangs Dennis' Mom," except
Where were Dee and Frank?

The Office: "Weight Loss" (9-25)

Innovative, smart
clever, funny. This is what
All TV should be.

SNL: "Anna Faris/ Duffy" (9-27)

Could have been better
Moving along, what's a Duffy?
Nevermind, don't care

The Simpsons: "Sex, Pies and Idiot-Scrapes" (9-28)

God, what a dumb pun.
Homer and Ned: pretty fun
Marge story was not.

King of the Hill: "Dia-Bill-ic Shock" (9-28)

Another dumb pun.
Otherwise good episode
(I'm so insightful).

Family Guy: "Love Blactually"(9-28)

I really forgot
What happened in this half-hour
Not a good sign, folks.

American Dad!: "1600 Candles" (9-28)

Underrated show--
or the most underrated
Show?- Steven Colbert

How I Met Your Mother: "The Best Burger In New York" (9-29)

This one I did like.
Because what other shows would
say "burger" this much?

Heroes: "One of Us, One of Them" (9-29)

And here's that train wreck
Sylar good? That's not a twist,

that's the Gordian.

Fringe: "The Arrival" (9-30)

Do we all agree
No-eyebrows-not-Michael-Stipe
Is an alien?

House: "Adverse Events" (9-30)

Grossest case ever;
I'll never enter drug trials.
Lucas B-story.

(Note: where I live, "trials" really is one syllable)

Pushing Daisies: "Bzzzzzzzzz!"(10-1)

I'm missing an ep.
To finish this post. Must add:
"Best title ever"

Friday Night Lights: "I Knew You When" (10-1)

If you've seen this show
And you still don't love it, sir,
There's something wrong with you

My Name Is Earl: "Joy in A Bubble" and "Stole an RV" (Both aired 10-2)

Still no brilliance yet
We need a good Randy ep.
C'mon, Hollywood!

It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia: "Mac and Charlie Die, pts. 1 and 2" (Both aired 10-2)

Cons: Hit-and miss. Long.
Jokes were weak. Pros: "The Shadow".
My grade: A-

Life: "Everything...All the Time" (10-3)

The case-- confusing
Not an good as "Happy Place"
Fluke, or bad omen?

SNL: "Anne Hathaway/ The Killers" (10-4)

Funny SNL!?
Brandon Flowers has freak face--
Homeboy creeped me out.

The Simpsons: "Lost Verizon" (10-5)

Bart gets a cell phone!
Hijinks ensue! Big guest star!
'Twas a "good" one (sighs).

King of the Hill: "Earthly Girls Are Easy" (10-5)

Felt like a South Park
With all the politicking
Hey, South Park's on now!

Family Guy: "I Dream of Jesus" (10-5)

Standard FG ep.
The bird is indeed the word.
Jesus stuff too short.

American Dad!: "The One That Got Away" (10-5)

Best in a while now.
I always liked this show, but
Two Rogers? Bravo.

Heroes: "I Am Become Death" (10-6)

A small, small step up.
At this rate it'll be good
By Twentyonetwelve.

How I Met Your Mother: "I Heart NJ" (10-6)

Stella's not the mom.
I wasn't sure until now
But Jersey? Come on!

I d.q.'d some shows
Like Mad Men or Dethklok show
For starting too soon.

This feature's being
Made frequenter (daily posts?).
They won't be this long.

Nnce! Nnce! Bmm-chka bmm-chka! Weeoh-weet!

Attention class! We're going to try something new in today's post.

I got this idea from the many ___-a-day blogs. There's painting-a-day, otherthing-a-day, even blog-a-day blogs. I thought-- what can I do "a-day"? I realized the answer was nothing (besides a badly-written, too-short blog post, that is). So I thinks to myself, what can I do "a-week"? The answer, again, was nothing. So then I thinks to myself, I thinks, maybe I can do something "a-week" really terribly, and by the time people start reading, it won't suck as much, eh?

Thus song-a-week was born.

This week's song originated out of frustration. Tired of attempting to butchercover songs, I decided to butcher an original song, and claim it's supposed to sound that bad (it's lo-fi!). I call it "beatbox1," because a fake song doesn't need a real title. Also because it's one person beatboxing. Because I couldn't figure out how to record instrument. Or sing real words. Maybe I should shut up and play the song:

.. In a minute

OK, here:



As you can hear, it's terrible, albeit surprisingly catchy after the fourth or fifth time. I want to state, for the record, that I can write and perform better songs (as could most primates). I just haven't yet figured out how to record them.