I've Made A Huge Mistake

I thought I was closing in on post100, but I was looking at a count that included Unpublished posts. This is actually Number 81. Just ignore the numbers on the last three.

Today I played Portal today... (Post 93 Plus Rock Band 2 Update

...well, actually, it was yesterday Tuesday December Friggin' 30th Last Friggin' Year*, but I got kind of stuck on that title. By the time I'd finished it was late, and I wanted to watch Old School before Wednesday so I could return it and then I was busy yesterday...

Anyway, we need more games like Portal. And by that I mean "short". It's the first game in a long time that I had enough free time to finish. Twice. With director's commentary the second time. The world needs more of that.

It's a different kind of game, where'n you need to use your brains (delicious brrraaaiiinnns...) to beat it. Which in theory is really cool in how it makes you smarterer, and how games should be less focused more on action and more thoughfultudeness, but inpractice kills a lot of the replay value, as puzzles that took 20 or so minutes the first time get solved in one the second (that's one minute. It's confusing because "one" and "second" are both in there, but it's not one second and is only vaguely related to ordinal numbering. It's like if MC Escher wrote a sentence. Speaking of MC Escher, how sweet would it be if he'd designed this game?).

What was I saying? The other problem I had was with the game's overreliance on timing-based puzzles, which just seemed kind of out-of-place and arbitrarily hard. If it was just the first (braaaiiinnnsss) kind of puzzle, I wouldn't mind, and the second (ooootthhheerrr kiiiiinnnddd) are mostly well-designed and keep the game from being too slow-paced but I'm confusing myself. The real problem with the more action-based puzzles (which more or less make up the second half of the game), is the camera. Look, I get it, Valve makes 1st Person Shooters. There were good reasons this game had to be in first person. But platforming in FPSeses can be well handled and has been done before in non-nauseating ways. At the very least I should be able to look down and see my feet.

Other than that no worries. The story's good, though it has some tone problems, trying to be both a black comedy and legitimately scary. The puzzles themselves are mostly well-designed. The cake isn't actually a lie (Spoiler!). The genre-mixing works better than most games that trying it do (in addition to the platformating, puzzleifying, first-personing, and horrortation, there are some cool stealth combat parts and exploration segments, and none feel shoehorned in).

Also, you can download "Still Alive" free for Rock Band, which nets it a bonus point, knocking it up to Seventeen Companion Cubes (out of a total A=XY+B cubed cubes).

*Sometimes I'm a very slow writer.

PS Rock Band 2 Update: I finally imported my Rock Band One song list into "The Duece" (as the cool kids most assuredly don't call it)... right in time for my Drums to break. So I've been brushing up on my singing, and occasionally using the RB1 Drum Kit, and getting a perfect score on "Float On" Bass, Expert (suck it). Also, finally (literally last week) I saw the credits roll (not sure how I did that, though), and then (literally three days ago) I unlocked (but have yet to play) the endless setlist.

Post No. 92: If you ever have a spare hour...

We watched this in my Economics class, and it was one of the first times I felt I had actually learned something from going to school. Also, I didn't have to use my AK. It was a good day.

Watch and enjoy. Or don't. I don't care. I'm too sick to type up a real post [coughs to garner your sympathies].




Update: The embed doesn't seem to be working, so here's a link. Everyone loves a link.

Post Number 91: The Strange Thing About Eyebrows

See with most everything else, they grow and then you have more of them.

If you didn't hear already...

...Starting tonight, The Simpsons et al will be in HD Widescreen Televistacular Definition.
For proof, check these new opening credits, which will inevitably be played in full once and then never again (seriously, two full minutes is a long time in TV):

The Sacred Stick Figure

I drew this by accident:

I love the Internet.

But seriously, shouldn't they have made this information more widely available?

5 Fake Movie Trailers I Found And Wish Was Real Movies.

[For no reazons, 1 am doing this p0st partiall4 in l33t. 1 am told 1t'5 quite teh populars ri6ht no\/\/, & 1 needs teh publicit0rx. 1 gues5 taht aktually counts @5 a reezun. 1 got the idae too doo it @5 a list form Cracked.com.gov.net.url. Lists is forkin additcive, man.]

!. tLoZ: Teh Feature Films


I'd see it, you'd see it, it would make ten billions of your Earth dollars. What's stopping them? Also, where'd IGN get the money for this trailer?

@. eth movie about the Robins which didn't die



This one would be a terrible movie, but it'd be an epic awesomely miniseries. Like DKR, only without the DK, or Smallville without the I've never actually seen Smallville if you have could you please tell me a joke I could use here thanks bye.

#. teh secnod part of HIstroy of teh World P@rt !



It says part one in the name! Pony up, Mel Brooks, or we'll take away all that money we assume you have.

$. hTE tru e stroy of th3 Nazi werewolves werewolfs



The Truth must come out! Otherwise, people won't know the cold, hard truth: the Nazis weren't such nice guys. Shocking, I know.

%. Ladn of teh L0st: teh Movie



Yeah, right. Could you imagine if they actually did this one?


But for seriously, The Colbert Report started out as a fake trailer, so you know, it could happen or something?

Words that sound like words and look like words but they aren't words:

Pronounced exactly like they look:

I came up with these when I realized Kanye tried to pretend "on ya" is an acceptable rhyme for "stronger". Unacceptable. :

Yonger: v. sort of a combination of "yearn", "longer", and "long" (as in "want").
Bonger: n. hmmmmmmm, what could that mean?
Honger: n. like a hanger, but so much awesomer.
Fonger: n., abbv. fing-longer
Wonger: see "bonger"

These are typos I saw on the internet and fell in love with:

Sneds: v. sends, IN THE FUTURE!
Helicooter: n. I'm not sure.
New Yrok: n. place. inspired this post. Presumably also in the future IN THE FUTURE!

Oh, feel free to add your own. Um, or else.

Dude, I just had an idea!

Click here, A.S.A.Possible!