a) I think my Rock Band 2 liveblog is one of the better things I've done here, and
a1) The same reasons here as there. Video games are too long to be looked at holistically; with a few exceptions, most can't just be finished in a day or two, and some never ever end. so I prefer to write about them as I play them.
b) Pokémon isn't something that demands your full attention; you can multitask with it. I thought this would be a funny other task.
c) I haven't played a Pokégame since Gold (though I think I last played it like two weeks ago). I want to see what's changed, and take you, gentle reader, along for the ride.
d) I found out about Bulbapedia and plan to use articles like this one to game the system (this is also how I got tricked into replaying Gold).
e) I've always thought it would be hilarious to overanalyze something something that, at its core, is made for children. My original idea was Harry Potter, but books are for dweebs and gaywads.
f) Nostalgia, I guess? Also, it is a pretty good game.
Refresh for updates. I'll be watching Cosmos on my laptop, to balance out my lowbrow with some highbrow.
11:23 PM: Turned on DS. DS Lite is too ritzy for me.
11:25: Man, this game is loud.
11:26: "Press Start"
:27: I mute it. Also, some old dude named Rowan wants to show me how to use my DS. I decide to humor him, and afterward wish I paid more attentioon to what X and Y do.
:30: Rowan tells me what Pokemon are. If I lived in Pokeworld, wouldn't I already know this? Disbelief suspended.
:31: I am a boy. But what's my name?
:32: Oh, right. My name is
33: And wh can forget my friend, JOHNDOE? P.S., what's up with his hair?
dude, JOHNDOE has like ADHD or something.
"the x button opens the menu" (too lazy for caps or timestamps from here on out).
hey, it's mom. she wants me to stay out of tall grass, which makes me wonder how people leave this town. maybe it's like in that twilight zone where the kid sent people to "the field".
11:42, Route 201: Eat it, Twinleaf Town. We're out of here, man!
11:43: Guess they were serious about that tall grass thing. Also, Carl Sagan just called Pluto a planet. Oh, how things have changed.
Question sort of answered. Nobody has Pokemon in Twinleaf Town.
Some Dawn chick brings Rowan his suitcase. She doesn't wont me to have no pokesmons. me and JD show her, we're all like, hells yeah we's getting pokemons. I can already tell she's gots the hots for me.
I choose Piplup, going by the famous "always bet on penguin" rule.
First thing JD wants to do is fight. I can already tell he'll be trouble.
"Piplup used Pound!"
"Turtwig used withdraw!"
I win, thus proving that the best offense is a good offense.
"Piplup grew to level 6!"
Carl Sagan explains how we know the Earth is round. It involves shadows.
Hooray, running shoes! Those would have been nice three generations ago, Game Freak.
JD and me are gonna catch a legendary pokemon. this should end well.
...or it would, if that cyrus douchebag wasn't in our way.
JD just called them P-O-K-accent-E-Balls. He's my new favorite character.
i fight a wild bidoof, which looks something like a superdeformed beaver. not that kind of beaver.
then i ko me a starly in some bird-on-bird action. i'm 3 for 3.
"piplup grew to level 7!"
all these f'in bidoofs are getting on my nerves.
oh, hey dawn. what, you want to give me a tour? listen, i think for now we should keep this a purely business arrangement, k? k?
rowan gives me a pokedex, but he's kind of passive-aggressive about it. yeah, i'll take good care of it. i'm not tarded.
"...i get a thrill when i'm with a pokemon"-- no comment
Dawn would "be happy to teach [me] things". told you guys.
uh-oh. that guy over is dawn's father. he seems kind of passive-aggressive too. listen, man, i can't help being so cool and sexy. it's the hat. the stupid, stupid, hat. also, i got a tm 27.
How do pokefolk live in such small houses? dawn's house has three generations and two beds, and it's the biggest one so far. no wonder she wants to hit the road so bad. and don't even get me started on these one-room shacks. you'd think the serious housing crisis in Sinnoh would be a bigger deal.
you ever notice with the pokecenters, you get on the escalator going to the left, but get off going right? that don't make no sense, from a practical standpoint.
i spend ten minutes drawing my signature on my trainer license. doing so, i become one of three people who didn't draw a penis.
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