Ch-ch-ch-changes

OK, so here's the deal. I'm getting really tired of the haikus. Two reasons: I usually have more than 17 syllables to say, and they aren't making great haikus anyway. So I'm compromising. I'll still do haikus, but it'll be more of a thematic thing, and I'll do a review to go with it.

From the top:

Testees, "Pilot": Let me put it this way. I'm never, ever watching this show again. (No haiku).

The Sarah Silverman Program, "The Mongolian Beef": A charming and fun if not exactly groundbreaking. For some reason I loved "Three different people, three different sizes" and conspired to right my own ridiculous song (I might use this as Thursday's Song of the Week):

Take me far away
Where the Mongolians play
We'll be happy there!

Mad Men, "The Jet Set": I'm breaking Rule Numero Three (No shows that premiered over the summer), for no good reason. I just liked the use of "Misirlou" in this episode. If you want something more in-depth, go elsewhere, my child. (No haiku)

Chuck, "Chuck Vs. The Break-Up": We kind of had to have this episode, didn't we? It worked great, both for the bigger story and as hour of entertainment. I'm a little fuzzy on the details because I just watched the new one, but I remember how cool it was. (No haiku, though the "Heroes' one works here, too)

Heroes, "Angels and Monsters": I loved the idea of the Claire storyline-- someone actually trying to, you know, do something heroic. I liked that Bubbles was the bad guy, and he didn't turn out so bad after all. I didn't like that they tied it to the dumb Sylar business, or anything else about this episode. Since I didn't care enough to write a real one, I'm gonna use a poem I wrote a couple weeks ago:

The Wind, he hates us
He tries to pull us apart
pulling, pulling, pull...

How I Met Your Mother, "Intervention": Hey, Family Guy writers (I know you all read this, or I like to pretend you do): This is how you do the cutaway gags. There was so much time-travel in this episode I lost track of what the present was supposed to be. Which is exactly the point, and one of my favorite things about this show. Best of the season so far.

Clock sits on the wall
Says time only goes one way
Wrong very is he.

House, "Birthmarks": This is Classic House: put on a big show of crying just to get a DNA sample. This is Classic Wilson: try (not very hard) to talk him out of it. I liked how House unwittingly revealed how similar he is to his father (both play games and abuse their underlings) as well as how different (House the Younger is, well, House). Loved Kutner, Taub, and Bubbles reaching the same conclusion as the original team, only off camera. Glad we finally found out how House and Wilson met. Glad Wilson's back. Wish to talk in complete sentences, but forgot how.

It's all in your head
We'll have to amputate it
You won't feel a thing.

Pushing Daisies, "Bad Habits": There was maybe too much going on in this episode, and it wasn't as funny as the last two, and it made me hungry for truffles (I've never even had truffles before). But even a less-than-perfect PD is perfectly cromulent, and has gags like Ned and Olive's game of charades, and "Sister Christian" (plus Emerson's "we're motorin'").

(No haiku) (Or is there?)
(Is it all a mystery?)
(How "meta" of me)

Fringe, "Power Hungry": Another week, another Fringe. Did you catch No-Eyebrows-Not-Michael-Stipe (henceforth NENMS) get out of the elevator at the beginning? I didn't. The frustrating part here was watching the Fringies (that's what I'm calling them) spend half the episode figuring out something everyone guessed after the first minute. If you're going to do that, there should be some twist, like the guy was really doing it on purpose, or he was a robot or a pair of twins or something (Buffy did those twists a lot). This show has a lot of potential (apparently NENMS isn't an alien, and we'll find out more about him soon), but it's not being used well. It doesn't earn a haiku.

South Park, "The Breast Cancer Show Ever": Wendy has only been the focus of like four South Parks, but playing her self-righteouness off of Cartman's assholery was a brilliant idea, and gave us the best episode since "The List," from last season. This was a great Cartman episode, too, giving us both comic (he eats-- then vomits-- his underpants to avoid the fight) and tragic (he's deluded himself to thinking everyone doesn't hate him*) insight into him (which we haven't really seen since "Tsssk"). And Eric was due for a beatdown (his last was "Cartoon Wars", right?) If there was one flaw, which there was, it was that the Stan and the Goth ("did she just call us Emo?") kids plotline didn't have a real ending. (No haiku again).

*Kind of like Pip. Remember Pip?

My Name is Earl, "We Got Spirit": Speaking of insight into borderline insane supporting characters, we finally get good look at Randy here. On one hand, Earl going out to help him was a good gesture by Earl. On the other, Randy probablywould have been better off doing nomething on his own. Looks like next week is going to be Randytacular as well, so I'll probably say more (and do a haiku) then.

The Office, "Baby Shower": I don't know. I liked it a lot, but I don't have anything to say about it, in prose or haiku. It,d just all be quotes, and you can read those elsewhere.

Saturday Night Live Weekend Update Thursday (#2): IF this wasn't ending next week, I probably wouldn't review it thewn (technically it counts as "news," bt it's an "event" so I have to write about it). It wasn't not funny, and the debate sketch was better than last Thursday, but there's not a lot to write about (other than "I liked this, I though this was dumb blah blah blah boring boring boring I hate you all I'm never talking to you again goodnight and have a pleasant tomorrow")

"Fair and Balanced"- Fox
"The most trusted"- CNN
"Thursday's Next!" -Update

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, "Paddy's Pub: The Worst Bar in Philadelphia": They can't all be winners. This one was a little too slow and not nearly insane enough, though I liked "Now there's a cat in play?" and "I asked a question."

Amnesia's real
We'll just start over again
Amnesia's real

Alternate version for if you think "amnesia" is 3 syllables:

Amnesia is real
We'll just start over again
Amnesia is real

Friday Night Lights, "How the Other Half Lives": The show is taking off again. It's firing on all cylinders, or whatever metaphor you find appropriate. Too bad you probably can't watch it.

Spacemen to brain, RE:
Message beamed from satelites:
They're not meant for you.

Moral Orel, "Innocence" and "Alone": I don't have anything to say about these two episodes, but I also watched "Nature, Parts 1 and 2," and I'm pretty sure it's the most depressing half hour of TV ever, or at least in the top five. (No haiku)

Heroes, "Genesis" (Not a new episode): OK, let me explain why I'm breaking the "no-rerun" rule (aka Rule Numero Two). I watched this one (Heroes' network pilot; it's streamable on Netflix) to answer whether Heroes has always been terrible, or it's just in decline. I won't go into detail (not right now, anyway), but "Genesis" is better than the new episodes we all know and loathe. It's hella uneven and nowhere near, say Lost's first episode, but it's good, and so I can definitively say that Heroes has at least one good episode. (No haiku, haikus are for real reviews).

Life, "Crushed": Is every case going to paralell (parallel? I can never remember) Charlie's prison time? We had the boxes, the girl trying to escape L.A., the man frozen to death, the fake prison experiment, now a man trapped and crushed to death. Not to mention Rachel being kidnapped for 12 years. I can dig it though. This was weaker than last week's, but not bad.

The weight of the world
Falls down unto my shoulders
I'm such a cliche

King of the Hill, "Square-Footed Monster": Good to know someone else hates McMansions. Also, I liked the political incorrectness of this one: group of white southerners band together to kick out their new Asian neighbor, and uphold their conformist way of life as "good old-fashioned values". Good for them? (No haiku)

Family Guy, "Road to Germany": The animation seemed a lot better than your average FG; too bad thestory wasn't. Once again, to my Family Guy-writer audience: just because something was in a movie, doesn't mean you have to copy it. A movie reference, especially a visual one (their were many in this one) is a (playful or biting) dig at a movie, or a clever twist on an old idea, or an extra layer to another joke, not a joke itself. The joke becomes "hey, look how much this scene is similar to another scene," which is funny maybe once, and every other time maken you look derivative and lame. (No haiku)

American Dad, "One Little Word": Even the title is derivative of earlier episodes. Tying in with the Family Guy discussion, even though this was a "sequel" of sorts to "Four Little Words," it did more repeating the same plot points of that episode than playing off it in a meaningful way. They could have shown how Stan has changed in the time between, or used it to point out how he's exactly the same, instead of taking one idea ("Like many of today's conservatives, Stan puts more value on words than on meanings") and running it into the ground. Plus the Roger stuff was dumb. We just had the "Roger acts childish" and a "Roger invests too much into his personas" episodes, so this one became repetitive on two fronts.

The Simpsons, "Double, Double, Boy in Trouble": I don't know. I thought this was funny, but like last week, it felt like more of a pitch for a story than an actual story. And as someone (not me) pointed out, why does Bart go from brat in the first act to wuss in the second? He should have used his powers as prince of prankdom to prank the punk prats. With style. Plus a trip to Aspen for no reason. Like Family Guy, the animation was noticably better here than it often is. Too bad the writing wasn't. (No haiku)

Mad Men, "The Mountain King": A weird one, here. Lots of time jumps and unexpectedness. I'm gonna do a full review next week, for the finale, is why I have so little to say/ haikuize now.

The Sarah Silverman Program, "Making New Friends": I can't adequately explain why I find this show funny. Maybe I'll be able to by next week. (No haiku)

Saturday Night Live, "Josh Brolin/ Adele": Same old lame old SNL. Took me all weekend to watch this one in bits and pieces, so I don't remember much about this one. But kudos to Sarah Palin, Mark Walhberg, Alec Baldwin, and Gregg Allman for showing up to play themselves. Quick Musical Guest Review: She's a good singer, but the songs are literally forgettable, as in I couldn't remember either by the end of the commercial break.

It's a routine thing
Just move along, everyone
Nothing to see here

Tomorrow (I hope)
Chuck, "Chuck vs. The Cougars"
Heroes, "Dying of the Light"
How I Met Your Mother, "Shelter Island"
I've seen them all, but it's midnight and this post is long enough.